went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
