Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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