Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
