she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
