You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
