3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Your penis caused this!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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