the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
