Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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