He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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