I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
