were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
