i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
