My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
