I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
