...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Houston, we have a blender
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize