hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
