did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
