My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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