the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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