he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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