ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize