Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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(972): And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P. http://tfl.nu/17d7

Replies (27) Good night (817) Bad night (2754)
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(407): View more from Florida

Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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(407): Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything." http://tfl.nu/1ue8

Replies (35) Good night (17274) Bad night (898)
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(360): View more from Washington

You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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(360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke

Replies (18) Good night (5323) Bad night (655)
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(407): View more from Florida

wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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(407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa

Replies (18) Good night (1234) Bad night (9268)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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(732): people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself. http://tfl.nu/7r6x

Replies (11) Good night (1289) Bad night (2840)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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(908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7

Replies (16) Good night (1190) Bad night (3611)
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(281): View more from Texas

thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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(281): thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone. http://tfl.nu/c518

Replies (7) Good night (3321) Bad night (831)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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(678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4

Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (2095)
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(208): View more from Idaho

make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.

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(208): make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say. http://tfl.nu/7pqa

Replies (2) Good night (2420) Bad night (591)
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(708): View more from Illinois

We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore

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(708): We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore http://tfl.nu/3p2d

Replies (10) Good night (1986) Bad night (1072)
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(681): View more from West Virginia

Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

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(681): Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most. http://tfl.nu/7o83

Replies (12) Good night (2134) Bad night (791)
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(281): View more from Texas

You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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(281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq

Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (863)
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(706): View more from Georgia

See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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(706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot

Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (302)
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(630): View more from Illinois

how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend

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(630): how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend http://tfl.nu/zm88

Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (359)
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(954): View more from Florida

I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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(954): I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else http://tfl.nu/v2q6

Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (192)

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