I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.