Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard