is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her