As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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