If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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