But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
