I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
