didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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