Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Please don't give away my fajitas
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