yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
