Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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