No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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