If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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