There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
is wine microwaveable?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
