so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Rumble strips road head = magical
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
