Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
