I wanna bring you to show and tell
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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