maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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