it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
