I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
