I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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