I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
