Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
