This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
