ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
