somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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