We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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