Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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