seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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