I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
