i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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