i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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