so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
