my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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