drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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