very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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