girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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