Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
