no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
