this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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