plz talk dirty to me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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