I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
