You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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