So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
